MY NAME IS JOSH & THIS IS MY HAUS.

Dear Josh,

Seated on my table with so much hefty ideas on my head, with surging words that even now still left unspoken, I can say that the world is testing me, playing games that can’t be outrun. I felt the berserk butterflies churning on my belly as I closed my eyes, uttering prayers that seemed to be fragments of my hopes and phrases of desperations that was bait on an arid February air. I want to run, but when i start, I stop. I want to cry, but just as the tear would moist my lashes, I wiped it all away. I want to scream to release all the pain, but I already stitched my mouth with threads of apathy, to numb all agony that seemed to be a better alternative of an anesthesia. You see? I remained whole despite of this. I am still that person every after end of the day – still the person that you used to know way back then. And with this, I wanted to teach you that despite of the hurts, the crosses that you bear and the blood that you shed, I wanted you to know that never give up because at the end, the pains and sacrifices are all worth it. Every scars of mine is a reminder that I have lived a life, after all my battles and loses, a worthwhile way of living. And those scars are just about to tattoo on your dried skin soon, making an imprint in your bone an insignia of victory, one that you will never lose.

So never give up. Trust less for yourself, trust God more.

Your friend,

Yourself.

..

PHOTO: JOSHMALDITO (C) / MODEL: KAREN

Since the day I started this blog, a lot of you were asking to share my story about how I encounter God. Well to be honest, I felt a little bit “mixed” or shall I say, don’t know where to start as I don’t have any idea how to write my journey, my story of how God moved my heart. But then I realised that it’s time to let the world know, share my tiny voice, as people in all walks of life can also relate to my story of how God revealed himself to me, speak to me, right in my own feet.

So this is it.

I grew up in a happy Christian family. I used to be a “churchy” kind of kid since then. I was raised going to church every Sundays, attend Sunday schools, our family have this Bible studies every week, memorize verses, and all that. Now you have that picture of how “Christian” I am as what might some would label me, but still, I’m still that normal kid just like anyone else.

Then little did I know, I found out that my faith wasn’t just built on the four corners of the church. I was 13 when God silently told me, “Hey, it’s time. Go get your bags and leave.”

It was summer, being jaded and exhausted in my horrible sophomore year in High School, I stayed home and didn’t know what to do. One day, a friend told me that there’s a summer camp mission trip. Being so burned out and bored with my summer experience, I said yes even though my intention was just to kill the boredom and that worn out feeling inside of me that’s been constantly tearing off my best days.

So I literally left home. I packed my bags and together with my local pastor and friends, we headed off to “Narnia” kind of place. It was an island very far from the city which means no buildings and highways, no cellphones and internet, and which made it even worse, no electricity. It was very far from the civilization that we used to have. But what made forget those “worldly” standards that I have is that, the place was beautiful. We stayed on an island, which means we stayed near the seashore surrounded by mountains and green forests. Our main purpose in going there is to help our fellow church members to build their church. So it was actually a kind of a “working” camp.

So there we go. 4 Nights… 5 Days…

How could a short time like that could change a traditional kind of guy like me? Simple. God showed it through his people.

A few days stay in that place felt like I have stayed there for a year because it taught me so many things and I guess it was the first time that I have experienced a powerful, down to earth ministry wherein I surrendered myself in a worldly life for a couple of days even though it was really unexpected. Why? Because I have lived and talked to people who were in the midst of poverty with incomplete resources of convenience but still paints a smile on their faces declaring how kind God was in their lives. I have lived with people who were in the midst of simple kind of living, a living I considered very far stretch compared to ours, but still they were able to raise their hands and sing “Give Thanks” that right now still echoes in my soul. I have lived and experience when one of the people in that place have to travel and cross the island just to give us a clean glass of water. I have been to their wooden church that stands on a seashore where people attend the service barefooted and didn’t even mind what to wear, where kids and their pets are free to roam around and listen to the sermon, a church wherein fancy lights and loud booming sound system can nowhere be found, instead a single cross hangs on the wall with a worn out Bible on the table.

I can still remember the last night we have there wherein we did a mini worship night. People gathered in a small basketball court with tears falling down on their faces as we lift up our worship right before to God. It was very genuine and I can say no words can describe what happened in that night. I remembered climbing up to a very steep mountain beside their church with the blue ocean on the sunny horizon and I felt like God revealed so many things in that moment. The breeze from the sea touches my face and it reminded me of a word that’s been locked in me forever: love.

You see? When you truly want to live a life for God, you just don’t solely find it on a concept of Church and religion. But it’s about reaching to other people, hearing their stories, immersing yourself into their situation, going beyond the walls on your church, and in fellowship with one another. I love the way Rick Warren puts it, “You are called to belong, not just to believe.” And with that revelation, it created a fire in me that I want to keep on burning. It became my motivation like for example to do these things like sharing this story to you. And now I decided to live a life like that of what does it mean to inspire other people like the people I have met have done to me four years ago. It can be through my writing and talents, my relationship to other people, showing as an example and etc.

Looking back with that journey, it reminded me of the verse from Exodus 15:13 wherein God set a deliverance and freedom to his people out of a life of slavery from Egypt. It says, “In your unfailing love, you will lead the people you have redeemed. By your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling”. And God had led me to that dwelling. I may have the greatest “ups” and the horrible “downs” in my life as my journey continues, but I know by his “unfailing love”, as I let him take the wheel, He will lead me to a land of unbroken promises, overwhelming love and redemption.

Before I’ll end this, let me share to you the story of one of my heroes named John Ortberg. There was a time in his ministry when they were preaching the Gospel in Ethiopia when it was still under Marxist rule wherein they did underground church services and hide their Bibles and any other Christian stuff because it was all banned and when you were caught, you’ll be in prisoned. That time, John and his fellows came with a bag full of Bibles to “smuggle” (serving as a donation) to an underground church. But sure enough, the custom agents opened their suitcases and confiscated the Bible. They expected the worst. They know they’ll be in trouble. But to their surprise, the official said, “These Bibles are illegal. You may take them out and be free of illegal charges on one condition—- you must tell no one. I want to keep one for myself.”

May we do the same.

- Josh

Never allow yourself to have un-Happy meals everyday. Don’t crave and indulge for unhealthy diets of snack like

French Cries

Double Cheese Angers

Choke-a-Cola

McFury

Pepsick

and anything that’s on the negative menu meal.

We once drooled on this diet, but when we let God put His grace on our table? We are alive, spiritually healthy and most of all, new and kicking. So bring on those faith boosters and let God’s grace and ever kindness be part of our spiritual diet.

EAT.PRAY.LOVE,

- Josh